349: Is Balance Attainable? - Dr. Kevin Groth

Is Balance Attainable?

Episode #349 with Dr. Kevin Groth

Your profession is a part of you. It may give you purpose, direction, and some degree of happiness. But your work is not all of you. And if you give 100% to your work, you will have nothing left to give yourself or others. To speak from experience and offer advice, Dr. Kevin Groth returns with Kirk Behrendt to share his journey of attaining work-life-self balance to help you become your best self. To find out the steps for a simpler yet fuller life, listen to Episode 349 of The Best Practices Show!

Main Takeaways:

Become in-tune with your emotions and develop self-awareness.

Identify who you are at your core. Self-awareness will drive everything else.

Understand the essentials — things that give you purpose and direction — in your life.

Never give 100% of yourself. Give 80% so you have 20% left to give.

Learn to say no to obligations, especially when you don't have the capacity.

Quotes:

“[I was working] Monday through Friday, sometimes some Saturdays. But really, it was probably 225 days, I would say. I think I counted that up in 2019, 2018 . . . Now, I'm down to 160 and keep dropping that number because I found a nice way to tune those dials that we talk about all the time and figure out what works for me and what doesn't.” (04:32—05:03)

“[By working less days, my income] increased. Which, I don't know what kind of magic it is. It doesn't make any sense to me, mathematically. But for some reason, you do find a sense of purpose and things that you want to do, and you become more efficient with it.” (05:12—05:24)

“When you have the right team around you to support you, everything gets a lot easier. Everything is far more manageable. And I found that you've just got to get the right people in the right seats and get out of their way.” (05:25—05:35)

“[Identify] who you are at your core. If you can identify who you are at your core, that will drive why you do something to give you a purpose. And then, once you know your who and your why, then you could realize what you do and how you do it.” (08:04—08:17)

“We all experience things on a daily basis. But we just, a lot of times, tune out our emotions because we don't want to deal with it. And once you start listening to those emotions and really reflecting on it, it becomes more of a self-awareness. And that self-awareness becomes something where you become more knowledgeable of who you are. And then, that can drive everything else.” (08:31—08:50)

“I think the first thing with anybody who’s in that point of their life trying to discover themselves, you've got to start with who [you're] not. It eliminates some of those things that you say, ‘Okay, this is not me. This is not me. This is not me.’ And eventually, it does lead you down a path to then discover, ‘This is me.’” (09:41—09:57)

“It’s so important, no matter what phase you are in life, to know who you are. And it drives how you do something.” (11:15—11:20)

“I think it starts with identifying, once you know who you are, what are the essential things in your life. When I can list the three to five things that really give me purpose and direction, it really simplifies things down to, ‘What do I want to devote my time and energy to?’ as well as what are some things that bring me joy in my life. Because then, if you can surround yourself with the bulk of what you do based on your essentials, and then you fill in those little spaces with some of the joys, there's a far more meaningful, fulfilled purpose out of your life that a lot of people just don't really have, to be honest.” (11:54—12:30)

“[Richard Swenson in Margin] talks about, ‘We should never give 100% of ourselves. We should always give 80% of ourselves. Because if we give 80% when asked upon, we have 20% to give. But if we’re running ourselves ragged, if we don't have the energy, if we don't have the means to give when we are asked upon, that's when you get burnout. That's when you get stressed. That's when you get anxiety, depression, whatever it may be, because you've run yourself ragged and you don't have the opportunity to do more.” (13:40—14:05)

“It’s listening to yourself. I recognize, when I am out of balance in my life, that I physically and mentally change as a person. I don't have the patience for people. I don't have the energy. I'm run down; I am tired. I have that jittery feeling that you just want to explode. That's not my best self, and I avoid that at all costs. And I've done that very strictly over the last three years now, because I never want to get back to that position. And if I even start feeling an inkling of that, I make some changes.” (15:21—15:57)

“So often, we’re asked upon to do things that are obligations that aren't really all that important, but we say yes because it’s harder to say no. So, we do that, but at the same point, it also takes away time that we would be devoting to other things that would fill us up and will drive us forward and give us purpose.” (19:16—19:33)

“One of the best things I started doing was, two or three years ago, I started saying no. And it’s not because I want to be insulting. It’s not because I want to ruin relationships with anybody. It’s just something that, in my place at life, at this moment, there are things that are more valuable and important to me than saying yes to those obligations. But if I had the capacity to say yes to it, I will. It’s just, most of the time, I don't. And that's what balance is.” (19:35—20:00)

“This work does not define who I am. It doesn't give me a purpose. It’s just something that is a part of me, but it’s not everything for me.” (23:15—23:22)

“I want people to know that [balance] is something that is totally doable. You just have to make steps to do it. You have to admit that this is something that's not working for you. You have to find the time to devote to yourself to come up with a vision with what you want out of your life based on who you are.” (25:56—26:13)

“If you don't know who you are, you don't know what to fill your time with. Because that's really what it comes to, is you've got to discover yourself first and foremost. And once you understand who you are, then that drives why you do something, and then that drives how and what you do. But so oftentimes, we find these external things that are the “whats,” that, ‘This next job is going to find fulfilment and happiness,’ or, ‘This next house is going to make me happy,’ or whatever it may be. And it’s a constant rat race to try and keep up with those whats. I don't need the whole lot because I know who I am.” (29:45—30:23)

Snippets:

0:00 Introduction.

2:50 Dr. Groth’s background.

4:12 Working less and earning more.

6:00 Is balance attainable?

8:50 Start with knowing who you are.

11:23 Understand the essentials in your life.

14:44 Learn to listen to yourself.

16:12 Dividing up your “pie”.

18:48 Learning to say no to obligations.

20:00 Combining slices of your pie.

21:24 A typical week in Dr. Groth’s life.

23:23 Delegate to capable people.

27:17 The nature of saying no.

29:20 What dentists get wrong about balance.

30:24 Does the “who” change as you age?

31:37 Choose what to do with your day.

33:32 First steps for figuring out who you are.

35:38 Dr. Groth’s contact information.

Reach Out to Dr. Groth:

Dr. Groth’s email: kevingroth@gmail.com 

Dr. Groth’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/grothdental/

Dr. Groth’s phone number: (248) 229-9380

Dr. Groth’s social media: @drkevingroth

Resources:

Start with Why by Simon Sinek: https://simonsinek.com/product/start-with-why/

Margin by Dr. Richard A. Swenson: http://www.richardswenson.com/margin

Dr. Kevin Groth Bio:

Dr. Kevin Groth’s primary goal is for every person to walk out of his office knowing that they received the highest-quality, most personalized care possible. Dentistry is more than just a profession for Dr. Groth. He sees every patient as an extension of his own family, and when you are in his chair, you’ll always be treated well.

Dr. Groth’s favorite part of being a dentist is that every day and every patient is different. He loves the variety of people he gets to meet and procedures he performs to help patients maintain their smiles.

Since graduating from the University of Michigan School of Dentistry, Dr. Groth has been recognized locally by Hour Detroit Magazine as a Top Dentist, and nationally as a Top Doc. As a passionate dentist who wants to provide the best care for his patients, Dr. Groth pursues continuing education through The Dawson Academy, serves on the executive board of the Periodontal Bunting Society, and is the Assistant Clinical Director of the Society of Comprehensive Dentists. He has also served as an adjunct clinical faculty member at the University of Michigan School of Dentistry.